we've done all we can...

For cycle 9. I guess you could say "Cycle 9 is in the books." I O'd yesterday. I've been doing this for 9 cycles now - my body is so freaking predictable. I'm very lucky in that respect I know. G is so freaking excited about our prospects this month - we did have fantastic timing. But we've had 8 previous cycles of fantastic timing so my enthusiasm is tempered. I'll let him be hopeful; I'll be realistic.

I've been asked if I'm going to test. Probably not; but I am conflicted about this. My emotions are going in two different directions...

There's that part of me that wants to start testing around 8DPO like I used to. When I was excited about starting this journey and figured it wouldn't take us longer than 6 months to get pregnant. Now I just watch my temps do what they do. My normal LP is 12-13 days. If my temps are still up then, I might test. I'm still also terrified of another CP. Having a CP definitely changes your mentality towards testing. If they start to plummet then I'll just move on to cycle 10 (which deep down is what I expect to happen).

I can always hope that G's sperm finally have some direction ;-)

LOL...or not.

I'm working towards some things to keep me busy during the two week wait. Here are few things I have promised myself:

1) work out Sunday through Thursday. Friday & Saturday are my off days. Fridays I'm just usually too exhausted after work (and being at pool the night before) to work out. I generally go right to sleep until G gets home. Then I'm usually in bed by 9:30ish - Fridays are a day of catch up for me. Saturdays are usually reserved for house work (cleaning, yard work, ect) so I get plenty of exercise running around doing that stuff.

2) take my prenatal daily. I admittedly was very good about this when I first started this journey. I've become so dejected lately that I've totally slacked off. I want to make a better effort.

3) cut out all fast food. I usually give up fast food for Lent every year. I want to try and do this for the rest of the year - January is when the dreaded call to the RE should happen - so I want to do everything I can to be as healthy as possible.

4) read more. I love to read. I used to read like crazy when I started this journey. Now I don't read near as much as I used to. Having my kindle really makes it tough to not have an excuse. And it's really an inexpensive hobby.

5) take time out for MY mental health. I'm not good at putting myself first. But one thing I've learned through this journey is that I need to start making decisions for ME. I really need to stop worrying about others - especially those people that I don't think are reciprocating - and get my mind right. All signs point towards IF and I need to get my mind right to go down that road.

For my TTGP Ladies - always thinking of you - keep your chin up!