Yup. That's how I'm starting to feel about my first RE appointment. It's exactly a week from today. I have no idea why I'm so nervous. It's not like I'm going to walk in there and I'm going to find out if/what is wrong. Maybe it's just because this is starting to become more real.
I honestly never thought a year ago that I would be here. When I started this journey I was convinced that it might take some time; up to year. But I never thought I'd actually have two losses under my belt. I was SO FREAKING sure I'd get pregnant. (Doesn't everyone when they start?)
But instead, I sit here on the verge of my first RE appointment. Maybe it's the unknown that's freaking me out? What if there's no answer? What if we're diagnosed with unexplained? Is/will that be more frustrating than something being wrong with one of us? GAH!!!! I told you I'm starting to panic a little.
I need to calm my happy(ish) ass down.
I'm hoping to make this a positive experience - I know many would consider it negative that it's come to this point. I think G is ready for some answers too.
Just as an update, I'm still running. I can tell I'm getting more in shape. It honestly feels really good. I can run 3 miles without stopping (that's what I'm up to). Maybe I do have a chance to run this entire race. I've been sticking with the training program (some days are harder than others) and it's paying off. This Saturday is my first 4 mile run. We'll see how that goes. But I feel really good after my 3 mile run today. I could totally crush a 5K at this point!
I hope your appointment goes well. My first one was just lots of talking and reviewing medical history and talking about all the testing that was going to be happening and possible treatments that might come up.
ReplyDeleteI was super nervous as well but it was so worth going! Message me if you want!
I think I was scared of the unknown more than anything. The overwhelming possibilities scared me. What if it is this? What if it's that? My thoughts weren't rational but even though I didn't get an answer until testing was completed, I still felt a lot better after the first appointment. It felt good to have some confidence in my RE. Once we finally got a diagnosis it helped my Type A mind to be able to research things.
ReplyDeleteI hope your appointment goes well and that your RE is great.
Keeping you in my thoughts!!
ReplyDeleteSorry you are so anxious! It is very overwhelming, but hopefully you will start getting some answers soon. I love the friends gif! lol.
ReplyDelete((Hugs))
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking about you and hoping that it goes well and you get some answers.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah for running. I did a 5k last summer and ran about 60/70%. I'm impressed. I kind of quit after that because I got lazy and it's cold here and I'm not hardcore enough to run in 20* weather.