how do you do it?

That seems to be the most common question I get asked these days. How do you handle the losses? How do you handle that it's been a year? How do you not obsess over every temp?

The answer is simple: I live my life.

I used to get excited and read into every temp. Now, I take my temp like I used to, I pee on things, I have sex when I'm supposed to, but I no longer fret if/when things will happen. TTC for a year will do that to just about anyone.

The losses sting. It's not easy. But don't let them define me. I'm open to talking about them with anyone who asks. Sometimes, in a quite moment alone, I still cry. But I refuse to let the losses defeat me.

I also get asked how I am able to be so happy for other people, attend/throw showers for others like nothing bothers me.

The answer is simple: It doesn't bother me.

My friends ability to have kids and their fertility has no affect on mine. I used to get upset. Then I had a come to Jesus meeting with myself. I have removed all the bitterness. It's only going to drag me down. I am genuinely happy for all my friends/family that are going to know the joy of having a child of their own. I have put my faith in God and know that he will bless me with a child in time.

In the mean time I keep myself so freaking busy now that I don't think about things anymore. I'm running like a mad woman. I'm training for a 10K in April in Richmond, VA. One of my BFF's from college suckered me into this. IDK what I was thinking. I've never run 6 miles at one time. I'm nervous I won't be able to do this. You can read about the event here.

I must admit that I'm really excited about it. I'm feeling really good about myself after I run - and the weight is starting to really shed. It's like I've jump started my metabolism. It feels great!

As many of you know - we're anxiously awaiting the arrival of our little puppy! Well we finally have a time frame (he's not even born yet!!!). The litter is due the first few days of March. This means he'll be coming home the end of April or beginning of May. We are over the moon excited. I'm excited that I'm keeping myself busy and focused on running and once my race is done - the puppy will be home. I'm doing a good job so far in 2013 of keeping myself distracted!!! In 2013 - I'm writing my story - I'm not letting anything or anyone else write it for me.